If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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