Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?