Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
