Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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