You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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