So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
