Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We need to get me chipped asap
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
