big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
