New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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