i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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