how can u be prego again
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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