It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
