Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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