you didnt know i had herpes?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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