Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
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Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
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In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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