You made me cry and you don't even care
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Porn is love you can see.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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