Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
