Apparently you make a good broom.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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