Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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