you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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