I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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