I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize