Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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