We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
