Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
