my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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