she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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