I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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