Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
