I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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