I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That accounts for only three of the penises
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
