there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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