i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
