OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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