i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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