when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
