I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
