The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize