No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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