Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
