I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
