Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i think i just lost a toe
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
