they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
