If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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