the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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