Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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