I think my fart just growled at me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
