it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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