He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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