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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I AM VODKA MAN
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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