You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
