Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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