hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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