Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
