Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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