You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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