Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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