Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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