no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
