I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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