I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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