I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
